Ever wondered how
children become girls and boys? Why girl's toys in the toy shop are tinted pink
and boys' toys painted blue? Ever noticed how we socialize our children to
become girls and boys ?
Gender stereotypes are
so inextricably embedded in our social structures that even the official
curriculum seems to reinforce them. This reinforcement exacerbates the issue of
gender stereotyping further and the cycle goes on. It could be surmised that the
self fulfilling prophecy of a male chauvinist in a patriarchal society
intentionally keeps the cycle going. Not just in Pakistan, the issue of gender
exploitation and stereotyping exists around the globe. Take a closer look at
the Disney princesses in Disney movies and the barbie dolls our children watch
and play with, and you will be flummoxed to see how much of their design and
conduct reinforces gender stereotypes particularly the ones related to
submissive and inferior role of a woman. The disproportionately designed barbie
doll figure is anything but close to reality. Instead of designing a more
natural looking barbie , the company sells an image that is barely attainable
in reality and by doing so it reinforces the unrealistic standards of beauty set
for women. Most disney movies reinforce hegemonic masculinity and circle around
the idea that women need to be physically attractive and submissive in their
conduct to serve the interests of men who will be their life saviors. From Snow
white, Cinderella, The little mermaid, Ariel, Belle, to Rapunzel and other Disney
princesses, the focal point has been the idea that physical attractiveness
empowers girls, girls need to be physically attractive and have a subordinate
role where the whole life revolves around fantasizing for the prince who would
save their lives and bring them happiness which is equated to the fulfillment
of materialistic desires. 'And they lived happily ever after', is an ending note
of most disney stories that defines happiness in terms of achieving
heterosexual love whereby a woman is the source of attraction for men.On the
contrary , the prince or the male characters are shown to be strong headed,
aggressive, and sharp. Women's job is to win men's heart through their physical
beauty and submissiveness and men's job is to take a lead and earn livelihood.
Although such romanticized movies might entertain a few but the message our
children learn from these movies is far from reality Women participation in the
labour force has increased manifolds, they are increasingly becoming career
oriented and a trend of dual earner couples has increased drastically
respectively. The gap between reality and fantasy these movies, toys, cartoons,
and even story books create could particularly be harmful for children and
adolescents who are in the crucial stage of forming a self identity.
However, the much appreciated Disney movie' Frozen' with all its different
storyline has sparked some hope for women liberation from the age old idea of
female subordination. Similarly, the leading role of Merida in 'Brave' too
successfully challenges the stereotypical notion that girls are weak and
subordinate.
Shakespare's play 'Taming
of the Shrew' is an ideal example of reinforcing gender stereotypes in official
curriculum. The play revolves around the concept of an aggressive, blunt,
unromantic woman turning into a polite, sweet, submissive, calm and caring
person after she falls in love with a male character in the play. The play is
suggestive of an idea that a man has the power to change even a shrewd, blunt,
aggressive, and unromantic woman into a desirably sweet and submissive one,
through his love and affection. It reinforces the notion that women are
dependent on men, they need to be submissive, and they should live their lives
in accordance to the whims and desires of the men.
Women are mostly assigned
passive roles rather than an active one in terms of dominance, control, and
influence. If a woman is considered beautiful and pretty, she is defined so in
accordance to the liking of the men and desirable traits are laid down by the
heterosexual normative structure that favors hegemonic masculinity and keeps
emphasized femininity intact and subordinated. Women are also seen to play a
passive role in gender relations and balance of power but this needs to stop
because no child is born weak or strong; its socialization that shapes their
personalities a particular way. According to one of the researches carried out
on male babies, it was noticed that male babies cried just as much and
sometimes even more than female babies did but because of the way they were
socialized and raised, they were made to learn that they need to be 'mommy's
big boy who doesn't cry'. According to the Gender Role Strain theory and the
Socialized dysfunctional characteristic theory, the societal pressure on men
and women to necessarily act a certain way and come up to the standards set for
them by the society,could potentially stress them under a gender role strain.
One of the research carried out by Dove , the beauty product, uncovered an
interesting phenomenon; most women drew a far uglier image of themselves
than they actually were. This is reflective of their felt pressure and strain
to come up to the unrealistic and highly demanding standards of beauty set for
them by the society.
My parents always
encouraged me to be active in sports and play with boys and girls alike,
whereas the general trend in the society I hail from, was to segregate girls
and boys and let girls play with girls only. I never played with dolls, and
never wore pink back in childhood days. My brother and I used to ride horses
and play with lego blocks instead. The way my parents raised me was very
different from the usual trend in the larger family as well as the society I
belong to. On one occasion, I remember, when I was six years old, I beat my
brother in a friendly wrestling match. My parents proudly called me 'sher beta'
which in urdu, my native language, means something close to ' our brave child',
and cherished the moment with delight but they were the only ones celebrating
my innocent little victory. My relatives , unlike my parents, thought that it
was highly inappropriate of me to beat my brother even if it was just a
friendly wrestling match and I was asked to apologize my brother. Although at
that time I did not understand why my relatives scolded me just when they
should have congratulated me on my victory however small and meaningless it
was, I can easily comprehend today that I belonged to a male dominant society
and that my parents were broad-minded and different from the rest.
It is about time we
realize that the unrealistic standards and expectations we set for men and
women should be done away with in order to relieve the respective genders of
the felt role strains and let them live healthier lives mentally and
physically. Instead of raising our children in ways that reinforce gender
stereotypical biases and notions, we should grant our children the freedom to
explore their sense of identity and take pride in who they are. Parenting and
teaching techniques should make sure that gender neutral plays, toys, books,
and curriculum are promoted whenever the need be in order to enhance
intellectual growth and self esteem of children. Instead of expecting every boy
to look like Russell Crow in gladiator and every girl to look like a
disproportionately designed barbie doll, girls and boys should be respected for
'who' they are rather than 'how' they look.
